I met Writer & Actor Joe Symon in 2020 through a mutual friend on social media.

I have been watching Joe's journey for a while now and am thrilled I finally get the chance to feature him.

While the topic of this interview is one nobody wants to talk about, it's one we all go through. Some people lose their parent or parents as a young child, while others face this loss as an adult. No matter when your parents pass away, it's never easy.

Joe lost his Mom, Arlene in 2023, at the age of 85. Joe wrote his short film, You Haunt Me, as a tribute to his Mom and as a way to help himself heal from this huge loss.

In this interview, Joe answered my call to share:

• When he realized he needed to make a film about the loss of his Mom
• What he hopes audiences come away with after seeing You Haunt Me
• How making this short film helped him find closure
• What he has learned about the grieving process
• So much more

Connect with Joe: Instagram

In You Haunt Me, Ben Howardson, a grieving middle-aged man, grapples with the loss of his accomplished concert pianist mother, Eileen Howardson. Her absence has left an indelible void in his life. Ben returns to his childhood home to pack up Eileen’s belongings.

Upon entering, he encounters an unsettling sensation. What awaits him within those walls is an extraordinary event that will transform his life. Ben will confront his painful past, his paralyzed present, and his uncertain, yet hopeful future.

You Haunt Me is in the process of being filmed. It stars MaryAnn Plunkett (Tony Award Winner for Broadway's Me & My Girl) as Ben's Mom, Eileen and Joe Symon will play Ben, the grieving son.

Joe's Mom

1. You are about to begin filming, You Haunt Me, a short film, based upon your own life about an adult son losing his mother. At what point after your mom passed away did you feel you should make a short film about your relationship with her? The whole full year after she passed, I fell into a dark place. I was drinking a lot and chain smoking cannabis. When that year of grieving had me hitting rock bottom, I knew I had to start writing about my struggle to move past her death.

I wanted to write this as a feature, but I wasn’t sitting on a gold mine, so I figured a short film would be much less expensive and crowd-fundable. The challenge was getting my story across in under 10 minutes!

2. What did you learn about yourself from writing You Haunt Me? I learned that in order for me to endure whatever life throws my way — I can never abandon my laptop.

3. What do you want audiences to walk away with after seeing You Haunt Me? I’d like people to feel that it’s absolutely normal to spiral down after the loss of a parent; especially if you were very close to that parent, as I was.

If it happens to you, and you start seeing it happen, try to catch yourself before you hit the ground. ‘Take your broken heart and turn it into art’ as the late Carrie Fisher said. And ‘art’ can be anything you want it to be.

Left to Right: Joe's Mom (Arlene), Joe, Joe's Dad (Michael)

4. In the trailer for You Haunt Me, this question gets asked of the viewer, "What would it take to get out from behind that shadow & live our own lives?" What has it taken for you to get out of your mom's shadow and live your own life? It took getting out of bed. It took taking a shower. It took seeing friends again. It took me having the most wonderful partner and soulmate. All of that. And — yes — it took writing this film.

5. How do you feel making this movie helped you get closure with your mom? Well, I wasn’t sure I had it, even after writing it. Months went by and we were raising funds for the film, and I was busy trying to line up a crew, but I guess that was the closure — I was able to not just survive but thrive again.

And this past week, my Fitbit watch got stuck on 6,666 steps. No matter how much walking around the apartment I did to get the number to go up, it was staying at 6,666. I googled those numbers and found out that it’s a sign your deceased loved one is visiting you. Wow. This sounds funny, but she stayed for about an hour, until the Fitbit skipped ahead to 9,501!

The silliest thing was all I did during that hour was text everyone on earth that You Haunt Me is officially now based on a literally true story; instead of spending that time talking to her. But, that’s okay. I have the rest of my life to talk to her.

6. How did your mom's passing make you live differently? One of the things she said to me during her final weeks was that she wanted me to lose weight. I was no longer in my 20s and I had a 40” waist. She had struggled with her weight her whole life and didn’t want me to suffer from a myriad of health issues.

So I lost weight, walking all over the city, trying to stay active — which is not just great for my outside, but it’s damn good for my inside spirit.

Bottom Left: Joe Symon as a child
Right: Joe's Mom, Arlene

7. The synopsis for You Haunt Me states that the loss of Ben's mother left an "indelible void in his life." How has your mom's passing left a void in your life? My Mom was a big phone talker. She loved to call me and talk about everything from theatre to fashion. Telling me about how wonderful this friend is, and what a great cook that friend is etc. She and I could talk til our phone batteries died.

There was a lot of laughing and sometimes there were some ugly fights, but you can’t possibly have a very close, complex relationship with a parent and not have the dark moments.

With every passing day, I seem to mostly remember the beautiful ones.

8. What have you learned about the grieving process that you feel could help someone else? Start crying right away. If you think you can’t cry, just sit with your feelings and your sadness. If the death was sudden, try to cry or scream and get it out of your body ASAP. If you know the end is near for someone close to you, cry in advance!

I know that sounds a bit flippant, but I started crying a week before and it definitely helped me when the day actually came. I did cry when writing the script. But I think I’m good now…I think.

9. Who or what inspired you to become a writer and actor? It’s in my DNA. I truly believe someone comes into this world with a certain type of biochemical make-up that has proclivities for all kinds of things. I was 5 years old and I was already listening to Broadway cast albums, acting out every single part and boy did I love the curtain calls!

I was always acting for the most part — here and in Los Angeles - despite my Mom making me take piano lessons. The piano was never my passion. I wanted to get out from behind it and sing and dance.

As for writing, that happened later in life, when I started to write roles for myself, since I wasn’t getting any auditions!

10. What is something we didn't get to talk about in this interview that you'd like my audience to know about you? I am an introvert. People will laugh if they know me and read this, but I am an introvert at heart.

I dread going to big parties, catered affairs, and the idea of a crowded arena of concert-goers sends me into a panic attack.

I am craving quiet more and more. Alone with my partner. Unfortunately, Midtown Manhattan isn’t always conducive for that, but life isn’t perfect. It’s just pretty damn good right now.

Joe Symon

More on Joe Symon:

A native New Yorker, Joe started his love for the Arts early on, as a child, waiting by Broadway stage doors, getting autographs from the actors. Upon graduating the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, he got cast in an Off-Broadway show, earning him his Actor’s Equity card. He then performed and toured nationally, in regional productions, as well as in the West Indies and throughout Europe.

He moved out to Hollywood where he was hired as a red carpet host for movie premieres. This led to him hosting an online talk show for Disney where he would interview movie and television stars weekly. 

As an actor/writer, he wrote and starred in the one-man show, Home Is Where The House Falls at the Coronet Theatre in L.A. Joe also created and wrote the score for the musical BROADS! - which premiered in Los Angeles.

Joe moved back to NYC to be closer to his family, which was good timing, as he was able to be there in his mother's final years. Since Covid ended, Joe was seen at the NY Theater Festival starring in his original play, Watching You. He then appeared in Kaufman’s The Butter and Egg Man.